fuck

Man I freaken hate my sister and my brother they get so mad for the stupidest things and they never fucken do shit

Irritation

Baby sitting and not getting paid gets me so made I hate the fact these dam kids don't listen to anybody they get me so mad

Feelings toward my dad

I feel bad that he could be sent away but even though I have never really been with him again ever since my quincenera I still feel like deep down he does love me or atleast I hope he does.....I know that if he would tell me straight up one day that he dosent want to know about me I really think I would die of sadness

How today was like

Things today started of good but at the end I felt like if everyone just had something against me and plus I found out some things about my dad that didn't make me feel so good things have just been on edge parley! I think I just need time alone some day's!

today

i just got a call from someone with a message from him. he wants me to go vistit hime witch i will he is not alone in this he has always protected me so i will protect him to no matter how many people are against him im on his side no matter how much lies he has told every one disserves a second chance!!!! im am alwyas going to be with you big brother...  :(

i know life has been realy hard on me lately but im just wondering when will things get easier for us all. i know deep down im going to have to move and maybe forget about everything and everyone who is here. but if it means getting my brother back i will totaly give up this sacrifice i would give up my life if i had to just so that he wouldnt have to go through this anymore. i cry everytime i think about what he is going through if hes cold or hot or hungry i dont know what to think any more :(

it isnt easy knowing that one single call can mess up everything you have in just one second. my life was destroyed with this and i know it wasnt easy

how i feel

i ffel so sad the fact that i havent seen him in a very long time i  miss him messing with me i miss the way it was with him around he made me feel safe and now i feel like yet anoother man has walked out of my life like they all do.

i know that life hits me hard and sometimes i think that its tooo harsd on me.... but then i think how is it to others, pits not rite for me to be selfish but maybe its because i see how others are happy and i just cant be.

sometimes i wonder wether it is best to stop and take a breath but o well i cant do anything.... i dont think i should care what people say about my family but i do it hurts me to think anything about it

why should i act like i like you when you have mest up my life in every possible way!!

do you all ever feel like anything can happen to change how you live?? well i used to i think i dont anymore..

my life

my life has been a complete rollercoster everyday. everyday i live something knew, i hate the fact they always try and take over it by telling me what to do. everyday i wonder why me why do i have to be the pefect one? why me?!!!!!