today

i just got a call from someone with a message from him. he wants me to go vistit hime witch i will he is not alone in this he has always protected me so i will protect him to no matter how many people are against him im on his side no matter how much lies he has told every one disserves a second chance!!!! im am alwyas going to be with you big brother...  :(

i know life has been realy hard on me lately but im just wondering when will things get easier for us all. i know deep down im going to have to move and maybe forget about everything and everyone who is here. but if it means getting my brother back i will totaly give up this sacrifice i would give up my life if i had to just so that he wouldnt have to go through this anymore. i cry everytime i think about what he is going through if hes cold or hot or hungry i dont know what to think any more :(

it isnt easy knowing that one single call can mess up everything you have in just one second. my life was destroyed with this and i know it wasnt easy

how i feel

i ffel so sad the fact that i havent seen him in a very long time i  miss him messing with me i miss the way it was with him around he made me feel safe and now i feel like yet anoother man has walked out of my life like they all do.

i know that life hits me hard and sometimes i think that its tooo harsd on me.... but then i think how is it to others, pits not rite for me to be selfish but maybe its because i see how others are happy and i just cant be.

sometimes i wonder wether it is best to stop and take a breath but o well i cant do anything.... i dont think i should care what people say about my family but i do it hurts me to think anything about it

why should i act like i like you when you have mest up my life in every possible way!!

do you all ever feel like anything can happen to change how you live?? well i used to i think i dont anymore..

my life

my life has been a complete rollercoster everyday. everyday i live something knew, i hate the fact they always try and take over it by telling me what to do. everyday i wonder why me why do i have to be the pefect one? why me?!!!!!